Indian Garden Bike Trip

I just saw Tablo's 'Fever's End' Commentary Film on youtube.
I'm just, again, impressed by how he is able to turn his thoughts into music, into rap. He has a lot in his mind, a lot of confusion. He thinks too much, kinda the way I feel about myself. He's just really good at articulating those thoughts. I think that's what I'll use this blog for. Just to jot down my thoughts, freely. Being able to articulate is important. It might be worth something if I actually articulate. Probably help me think more clearly and see a solution. maybe. maybe not.


My only real final was yesterday (Monday), so today I went on a bike trip to Devon Ave. to get some Indian food with Henry - used his groupon.
Weather was amazing, and it was a refreshing trip, but what sticks to my mind is my chat with Henry at Indian Garden while waiting for our food. He asked me what my spiritual background was, coming into college. I opened up and told him that I used to be very strong in my belief in God, when I was in Taiwan and Korea, but as I came to the states, I felt more distant, because of various possible reasons.

                                                                                                                                                
So then why did you join AAIV?

I wanted to hold on. If I didn't join something, I knew I would just completely fall apart from God. I wanted to get back to my old self......be reinvigorated.

Has that worked?

No.

So what are the main things that you are having trouble with?

Whether or not God exist. I think mentally, I always come into conclusion that God must exist. If He isn't real, then there is no purpose or meaning in life. Why live? no morals no nothing. Live, die and that's it. I just don't feel him. I guess........I don't see him.........working in my life.

Yeah, that's a problem with a lot of people, even for those that call themselves Christians. It's hard when life is easy and people are self sufficient, they don't have to rely on God.

Sometimes, the rare times I actually pray........I ask, if what it takes is for me to go through some hardship, if that is what it takes for me to believe in You, give it to me.

That's a really scary thing to pray for. I'm surprised nothing has happened yet. How often do you pray about that?

Not very often. But when actually pray, it seems like that's what it comes down to.
                                                                                                                                                
Do you know when you want to get married?

I don't know. Oh, I was talking to Jesse about this, and what's really important for me is, it can always change but this is what I think right now, I want to do some thing I really like with my life. That is at the very top of my priority. I don't really care about other things, I don't care about money, and if I had to sacrifice having a family to pursue what I want to do, I just won't have a family. but right now, I still don't know what that thing is that I would sacrifice anything for.

I know its said all the time, but I know what you are looking for is God.

I know. That's what I was saying earlier in small group, salvation gives you meaning and purpose in life. Without it, there is no point in living. I know those two are very much intertwined.

I'm glad you are in my small group.

I barely go.

No, you come whenever you have time. You are more a regular than some others.
                                                                                                                                                

Kershaw knife, plan to bike to WI

Finally got my Kershaw Serrated Burst knife!

I also ordered a $1.69 free shipping magnesium/flit stick for fire starter.

I've also been looking into biking to WI. Apparently only takes 3 hours according to google. not bad.

View Larger Map (Google Bicycle Trail to WI border)

Tentative Plan: (weather permitting)
1. First Saturday after spring break, depart early morning.
2. bike all day, get to WI-IL border.
3. Find a place to sleep in the woods, in my sleeping bag.
4. Wake up next morning and bike back.

I'm excited!